I'm Leaving To Pursue Awakening & Healing - March 2020

https://youtu.be/23gbVOoRbtA

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I've had an awakening unlike any that I've ever had and I've had Medi already up to this point but recently I had my deepest awakening yet and it was so astounding that I wanted to to speak about it for a bit here so that you understand where I'm coming from because this awakening was a a life transforming event it feels like from this point on my whole life has to change it was just utterly radical realization of myself as God which of course you know I realized many times in the past but um but the month yeahit's I'm struggling because there's no words to describe it it's absolutely impossible to convey to you in any way that you can possibly imagine or understand it's completely outside of your ability to imagine it in your current state of consciousness you can't imagine it you can't understand it so when I use the word awakening whatever you think that means in your mind you have some image of what that means you're wrong that's not what it means and whatever other image you might conjure up you're also wrong so no image that you can have can possibly do it justice so this awakening was so profound that it put me beyond anything that I've studied or learned from any other enlightened teacher and what I became clearly aware of is that basically no teacher that I've learned from and I've learned from many teachers some that I consider the world's best teachers whether reading their books or watching their videos or actually working with them in person interviewing them having conversations with them behind the scenes and so forth [Music] I've interacted face-to-face with with probably over a dozen what I would consider woke elope and people teachers and masters and so forth and from the awakening I had that I'm describing here it became perfectly apparent that they're not truly awake in the way that I experienced this awakening now you might be wondering you know Leo you every time you keep telling me about a full total awakening this over and over again how many how many total awakenings can you have well that's that's the paradox of it that's the mindfuck of it that's what's so astounding about it is that you have an awakening and it is total but because the very nature of what we're dealing here is with absolute infinity it seems to have no end or bottom to it and so every awakening you have feels very total and complete and then you discover that there's more and that's precisely what makes us so tricky is that it's very easy to get to a certain point where you think oh okay I'm good I think I got it I figured it out I understand what I am I understand what consciousness is I understand what reality is I understand what Awakening is but that's a trap because there's a deeper level that you don't even you can't even imagine that it's there and get it's there and there's not just one of those there's there's many of those and it's not that one contradicts the others they all basically go in the same direction so there's no contradiction between them it's not like you're trying to decide you know we'll is this the true awakening or is that the true awakening no they're all true awakenings it's just a matter of depth how deep do you understand what existence is and why it's here so in this awakening I became completely consciousness my consciousness became so self transparent so transparent to itself that it completely understood how it was creating all of itself which is basically of course you creating the entire universe how are you creating the entire universe right now you're not conscious of that are you are you conscious right now that you're creating the entire universe that you're creating this entire moment right here every single word coming out of my mouth is your creation a creation of your own mind but see you're not conscious of that not only are you not conscious of that it's probably difficult for you to even conceive of what a consciousness of that would even mean how that's even possible it makes no sense to you from your current state of consciousness but now imagine that something happens and in a moment you become totally aware of how you're creating everything everything is being created by your mind and this mind is of course infinite it has no beginning or end but of course you know it can't be really explained to you the words don't do it justice um cuz you know I've spoken these things in the past but it's just it's again it's just a matter of how deeply you grasp it we have my whole during this awakening and and even now the process is continuing I felt my entire mind and body starting to rewire itself to embody this level of consciousness so that I could live from it on a daily basis but there's still more rewiring work to do my work is not complete there's there's a lot of integration work that needs to happen and so in a sense these awakenings are kind of a pain in the ass because they disrupt my normal flow of life basically after this awakening you know I had I had plans for like what I'm gonna do this week what kind of video I'm gonna release what kind of topic I'm gonna talk about and all these plans get up ended and it's it's quite it's quite challenging because you're not able to live a sort of a normal life where you like you go to work on time you go to sleep on time you have some plans to see your friends you have some plans to complete this project at this date like all this flies out the window with such a profound awakening so I'm just speaking off-the-cuff here and just sharing my thoughts with you but there's gonna be needed there's gonna need to be a significant period of integration and even deeper awakenings so more work basically I need to go even deeper inside of myself and going into solitude and isolation I talk to really to really seize on it and to align my entire life with with this god awareness to completely live life as though you are God creating every single moment that's not easy to do because we have a lot of patterns all patterns of how we used to live life and so undoing those habits and patterns and addictions are part of that emotional reactions are part of that thought patterns are part of that cravings and desires are part of that so there's a lot of work that that needs to be done to really be able to align oneself with such a such a level of consciousness and so and so yeah so truly now my understanding of awakening has has become so rich and so full that I can really appreciate the subtle differences between different teachers and different teachings and different religions and traditions and basically what I'm talking about now is a level of awakening that transcends everything transcends all teachings all teachers transcends the Buddha transcends Christ transcends every master that you've heard about transcend Zen transcends Buddhism Christianity Advaita all of it all of it becomes like a joke it transcends the chakras it transcends meditation transcends yoga there is no way you can reach this level of awakening through meditation through yoga's through self inquiry nothing none of that beyond all of that so how do you talk about it how do you teach it how do you even get someone to believe you it is it's unbelievable even I sitting here now can hardly believe it it literally is like a miracle happening to you it's it's utterly shocking you completely realize that you're God and that you're absolutely infinite and eternal and that you're constantly creating everything everything is your own imagination also while I was conscious of this I started to become conscious of the root cause of all diseases and ailments that humans have and that of course I also have suffered from and that's still a part of this work that that I'm now I'm gonna get real serious about starting to understand even deeper and to master deeper because I haven't fully understood this yet is how actual healing works how to do healing from this ridiculous state of consciousness it's possible to do miraculous healing it's it's patently obvious that it's possible but exactly how it works and what is necessary to do it this is still something I'm not clear about this is part of the work I have yet to do but it's quite clear to me that if I fully go into this work and I do it properly that I will be capable of levels of consciousness that perhaps only a handful of humans have ever been capable of on the entire planet in the entire history of mankind and that literally miracles will be possible it's a tall order to fill I'm a little hesitant even put this out there because it creates false expectations and many of you because many of you start to thing like oh well Awakening means that you should be able to perform miracles and do whatever you want and you should be able to have a million dollars and this and that see this is the ego wants this sort of nonsense it has nothing to do with that so be very we have to be very clear here that the actual act of awakening itself has absolutely nothing to do with healing or miracles or or doing anything or changing anything about reality whatsoever nothing whatsoever is changed by awakening you simply realize that everything that's happening is already your own will and your own creation of your own mind now in addition to that once you do awake into that I mean that that's really the important thing once you do awake and then of course there can be questions about now how do you how do you live with it how do you align your life to it and then of can there be abilities you can develop after the fact from this new level of awareness and consciousness that you have and that of course it's gonna depend on how well you're able to embody it on a daily basis so these are these are separate issues so there is a potential for doing some amazing stuff healing and other what would be called paranormal extrasensory perception type stuff there is that potential but I don't want you to confuse in your mind that if a person can't do these things that they're then they're not awake because there's many levels of course of awakening and at the lowest levels you're not going to really have enough consciousness to really manipulate reality but also you have to understand that the desire to manipulate reality is completely a function of ego so really to be able to do these healings and to perform these miracles it can't be coming from your ego if your ego wants to do it you won't be able to do it it has to be coming from absolute love it has to be coming from total selflessness that's what I understand so far but even knowing that I'm still I'm still not capable of doing it because there's there's there's just I can sense that there's even a deeper understanding of how my mind is constructing this reality right now even though I can be kind of conscious that I am doing it I'm not conscious enough to actually change it or to manipulate it so that requires even more consciousness so clearly there's even even deeper levels but I just want to be upfront with you the reason I'm sharing with this with you is because I want you to understand kind of where I'm coming from because I will be saying things in the future that will contradict things you've heard other teachers say and you might wonder you wisely oh saying these things and so I'm explaining to you why I'm saying these things because I've access levels of awareness it's clear to me that people that I've studied under don't have these levels of awareness and you might wonder well isn't that arrogant how could you possibly know that again that can't be explained to you you will only know that by going through these radical stages of awakening yourself and then you will be able to look back in retrospect and find subtle clues about teachings or teachers where you will see that they're still playing games and they're still not fully awake to to what they are and how they're constructing reality and that's because you're not gonna meditate your way to this level of consciousness no way and you're not gonna do some yoga to get there no way there's really no good way that I know of getting there other than through psychedelics and specifically through five Meo DMT just there's no there's no other comparison and I know you guys some of you guys don't like me saying that because you have a stick up your ass about psychedelics but honestly you know I just gotta say what what is the case what is true for me from my point of view given all my experience I've hung around many people who've done yoga and meditation and self inquiry I've interacted with many of them I've done all these practices myself I've gone to the past and retreats I've done all this stuff and it's just paint li obvious to me now that these methods are woefully inadequate for the kinds of levels of consciousness that I'm talking about it doesn't mean that these are useless methods they're useful but they're not you're not gonna be able to understand the things that I'm talking about with those methods does that mean you should stop doing those methods not necessarily cuz you you know you got to do the best you got if that's all you got do do the best you got better than doing nothing but uh but there are better ways there are much better ways that will save you years and decades of frustration and really in the future I will my teachings will become more psychedelic oriented because it's simply the most powerful tool for this work if you're serious about understanding what the nature of reality is if you're serious about understanding that you are God and how all of consciousness works then simply there's no better tool than psychedelics and if you're not using psychedelics honestly you're wasting your time you're just wasting decades of your life in frustration asking stupid questions going to seminars and workshops and reading books you're just wasting your time that's what I've learned in over five years of pursuing awakening and having various kinds of awakenings and doing various kinds of practices that's what I've discovered maybe you're different maybe for you it won't work that way but this is this is how I see it and I just want to be upfront about that so take that into account and anticipate that I'll be talking more about psychedelics going forward in the future because they're so powerful and so that you just at this point I'm becoming very intolerant of people's games and ignorance and closed mindedness like if you want to follow my work you've got to be radically open-minded and you got to be super serious about testing all of this stuff for yourself and if you're not if you're just gonna be keyboard jockeying and sitting there and posting stupid comments as snarky remarks then like I don't I don't even want to talk to you at this point and I'm not gonna be entertaining your stupid ideas and your games I've been far too tolerant of people's ignorance with this work and so you're gonna see me cracking down and taking a sort of a no-bullshit stance and being less just less tolerant of people's ignorance both on the forum in the comment sections and throughout my content so really I'm going to be sort of streamlining my entire teaching to be the highest teaching that can be taught that has been taught on the planet I'm gonna be streamlining it this is will be a process that will probably take me a couple of years to really figure it all out to streamline it and to really help you those of you who are open-minded those of you who really are serious about this work I can help you to discover that you are God that's ultimately what we're doing here do you want to fully understand how you created the entire universe if you're open to that possibility I can show you every single obstacle that is preventing you from realizing that your God and there is nothing else for you to do in this life but to realize that your gut that's the only game in town everything else is a distraction when you do realize that your God this will instantaneously solve every single problem in your life not only that but it will heal you it will heal you of every disease and problem that you have that's how powerful this is I've been struggling with health issues for a while now as I was doing this work you know I've spoken in the past about having low thyroid and dealing with thyroid problems I've had that for for over ten years been struggling with that and it's been progressively getting worse I've been dealing with a lot of chronic fatigue and some digestion problems and and other weird symptoms that were just sort of adding on and adding on and adding on and I've gone to many doctors both traditional ones and alternative ones I've gotten various kinds of healings I've taken various medicines I've tried hundreds of supplements I've gotten Reiki I've got an acupuncture I've got like everything you could imagine I've done and probably many things you don't even know exist I've done and basically it wasn't helping me and it was it was getting difficult it was getting difficult just to even do my work and there was no explanation for what was what was really going on with my body and I'm still dealing with those you know and sometimes in life you'll face stuff like that you will face mysterious illnesses you'll face problems like this and so in this awakening that I had I sort of in one fell swoop realized the source of all of my my health issues and really not just mine but all of mankind's the source of all disease in a sense all disease and all all of your suffering and all of your problems whatever they are are pushing you to awaken their signs and Clues left by you for your own self to help you to awaken now that doesn't make a lot of sense probably to you you might wonder like how is cancer a sign to awaken doesn't make sense and you're right from your current state of consciousness it doesn't make sense but when you fully awake and in retrospect looking back on your whole life you'll be able to understand every little detail of your life and how all of it was just pushing you to awaken everything every person in your life every book you've ever read every video you've ever watched every link on the internet you've ever clicked all of it was like a breadcrumb trail that you left for yourself in order to one day awaken to yourself as god god left these breadcrumbs for itself and then it's just a question of will you follow these breadcrumbs or will you ignore them and overlook them see most your life you've been overlooking all these breadcrumbs you don't even know that they're there but the more tuned in you get the more conscious you get the more you notice it and then eventually when you awaken you'll see it all in one sort of flashback you'll you'll see how all of it interconnected and led you precisely to where you need to be to go through all the stuff you have to go through in order to fully awaken to yourself as God and that is that is what's so astounding about it so one of the things I'll be doing now is I'll be going into a period of solitude where I will be working to embody in to deepen this awakening and to have more awakenings along the lines of this one and to to start to understand how healing works and to use that healing first of all to heal myself proving on myself that I will be able to heal myself with these abilities and then attempting to use it to to help others and then to teach it that's sort of my mission here so that's what that's what I'm up to will it work I don't know I don't know there's no guarantees but I have a vision that it's possible and that this is the most worthwhile thing for me to do so I'm gonna follow on that intuition and on that vision and see how far I can get again there's no guarantees it's it's definitely risky and we'll see where it goes but yeah I have been struggling with these health issues they've been quite debilitating some some days it's been it's been difficult to just even do any work at all and I think the reason ultimately that I'm facing these health issues you know I have a good diet and so forth so it's not that mmm it's really it's it's a hurdle that I need to overcome which is part of my spiritual path is that I need to overcome this and be able to heal myself so that then I have a deep personal understanding of what it's like to to be ill of what it's like to suffer you see because if my path was easy then I would never have the kind of compassion that I will have after having gone through the kind of torture that have going through right now so in a sense you might say I am creating my own torture so that the awakening can be all the more deeper and so that I can do profound work in the years and decades to come at least that's my best current understanding of it um because no traditional no traditional approaches help no traditional medicine helps and not even alternative stuff helps so um it's pretty clear to me though that I can heal myself but it's gonna take a lot of work I still have a lot of work to do on myself and so really what's happening is that the universe is sort of grooming me to become its vehicle for transmitting the highest teachings but to do that requires enormous inner purification spiritual purification which I still have yet to do I mean I've done a lot of it already but a lot more of it yet to do to really be able to live up and to lead at the kind of level that I know I'm capable of and so that's the work that I have cut out for myself that I need to do and to do that work I have to take a step back from actualize that organ from from releasing the kind of weekly content that I currently release so what I'll be doing going forward right now is I'm gonna be taking 30 days off and I'm gonna spend these 30 days in isolation working on myself doing this stuff that I was just explaining and I'm gonna see how far I can get in those 30 days maybe I'll come back after 30 days and resume the normal content but maybe it'll take me longer maybe it'll require 60 days maybe it'll require 90 days if it will then I'll take that time and I will let you guys know on my blog what the well you know when I'm coming back when I anticipate I'm coming back yeah but eventually after 60 years 30 or 90 days whatever it's gonna be I'm gonna come back and the content is gonna resume but it's gonna be at a new level and you're gonna see that it's gonna be at a new level and I'm gonna be at a new level and overall what you should be seeing in me right now is already the transformation is happening my mind in my body is already currently in the process of getting rewired to take me to the next level of teaching and embodiment of this work and so that's just gonna be continuing I don't know how long the process will take I might take a month might take three months might take six months I don't know so I got to just kind of play it by ear we'll see how it goes but of course the intention as always is to come back and to do the work even better so of course the videos you know one of my biggest challenge is that there's so much content that I want to shoot hundreds of videos that I have planned so many important topics so many things to two guys that I don't have enough time and energy in the day to do that to the kind of level that I want to do it at so and so it's very challenging for me to you know to even take 30 days off it's very challenging because there's so much I want to share so one of my biggest challenges is that at the on the one hand I just want to share and there's just this pure desire pure selfless desire just to share and to to share insights and and to teach there's that on the other hand there's a need to go inside and to really go into solitude and to not teach and just to master my own self understanding at deeper and deeper levels and just to become more and more conscious and more and more spiritually pure so that I can then come back and and just do that teaching work at a even greater level and so what you're going to see over the next six months let's say is a complete transformation of Who I am my energy my abilities you might see changes in my teaching style and so I'm just warning you of that from your point of view they might not all seem positive it might seem like I'm getting more serious for example and you might perceive that as some sort of negative or it might seem that I'm you know I'm getting too philosophical or I'm getting too abstract or I'm getting too impractical all of all of how you interpret it how you see it depends on where you are in your life and what you feel you need so as my teachings become more and more advanced of course they're gonna appeal to fewer and fewer people they're gonna be misunderstood by more and more people they're gonna be demonized more because now we're really getting serious and really blunt about getting you to understand that your God and just that very eye that your God just that very idea doesn't sit very well with people but this is how it has to be and so yeah I have to go through a process of figuring out how to live life in a new way that's aligned with with these radical awakenings that I'm having and it's a challenging process and you know if you're gonna be realizing that your God well you're gonna probably be going through a similar process to me it'll be a challenging process for you it's gonna turn your whole life upside-down and you probably will feel like you're lost and you you won't know which way to go for some period in your life you might get depressed you might have health issues you know who knows what might come up a lot there are a lot of potential side effects and variables and it's all these which are holding you back from really fully awakening to yourself as God because you really do need a a complete shedding of your old skin it's just like um like a a snake shedding its skin or a lobster shedding its carapace to grow bigger but that process when the lobster is in the process of shedding its carapace it's vulnerable for some number of days because it's new shell isn't fully hardened yet and so that's a vulnerable dangerous time and yet that's what you got to do to grow to ever higher heights yeah this is the most amazing work that you can possibly do I think the most amazing thing is is just realizing at greater and greater levels that you are constructing everything here all of this is your own mind at work and so with awakening what's happening that you're discovering more and more that you're God that you're the only being in the universe and that you are constructing everything around you including all people all things animals beings everything you're also constructing all of your spiritual ideas all of your spiritual techniques and teachings you're constructing and imagining all of that as well it's the most astounding thing to realize that you're doing it all and yet that's the ultimate truth you are the truth you are consciousness you are infinite you are loved so all of those things still stand that's not changing we're actually just doubling down on all that so going forward in the future what am I going to be teaching the core of my teaching is gonna be the following you are God there's zero separation between you and God not only is it that you are an avatar of God but there's not even an avatar of God everything is God you are God without even an avatar even to say that you're an avatar of God is is too far removing you from God you are absolutely God with absolutely zero separation between you and what God is but you have no idea what God is God doesn't know itself until it becomes conscious of itself so that's what the process of awakening is so that's the core of my teaching next is that there is nothing but consciousness God is infinite consciousness and everything is made of consciousness and there cannot be anything but consciousness that's another core pillar of my teaching another core pillar of my teaching is that there's nothing but states of consciousness and everything at all times is a state of consciousness so however you are whatever you are that constitutes your state of consciousness and then if you're some other way that's a different state of consciousness and so all there is are these different states of consciousness some states of consciousness are more self conscious than others and there's nothing but that another core teaching is gonna be love that you are love love is absolute you are completely selfless you are so in love with yourself that you construct an infinite universe out of your love and that this love is the antidote to all of your problems and to all fear when you become fully conscious that you are everything that you are God that you are the universe you're going to love yourself completely for the first time in your life not just yourself not just your body but your self meaning everything you're gonna love your entire creation and only through that love will you understand what God is and why the creation exists as a product of your love for your ownself and at that point there will not be any more fear because all fear is fear of your own self which only comes from a lack of self-awareness when you have total self-awareness when you are completely transparent to yourself there cannot be any fear fear becomes impossible because fear is just fear of those aspects of yourself which you have disconnected from and which you have stopped loving but when you love all aspects of yourself what can you possibly fear and of course your immortal your eternal so you ain't goin anywhere you have no beginning and you have no end so that will be a core teaching going forward radical open mindedness is going to be a core pillar of my teaching going forward we still have more to talk about with open mindedness a lot of topics within epistemology we're gonna be talking about how science works deconstructing science helping to understand that and many many other important topics and so basically what this teaching is gonna be is it's going to be me helping you to remove various obstacles from your stream of consciousness which are preventing you from realizing that your God that your consciousness that your infinite that your love so that's all that we're doing with this work it's just we're removing these obstacles but these obstacles exist in many domains these obstacles exist in the domain of sexuality and relationships they exist within the domain of money and career taking care of yourself financially they exist within a domain of health you know physical nutrition exercise they exist within the domain of epistemology so that's why we talk about epistemology so much is because the epistemic blocks are really preventing you from realizing that you're God they exist within the domain of science because you don't really understand how science works for example or what reason or what Logica or what language are these things prevent you from from realizing that you're God and many many other domains which we've covered in the past but I want you to see all of that in the sort of overarching big-picture perspective like the reason we're talking about all these domains is ultimately because we're trying to get your mind free of its own internal obstacles and resistance to awaken to the fact that your God at some point and so for each of you that will be a long and different drawn-out process you know depending on what your obstacles are for some of you it's gonna be the religion that you were brainwashed with when you were a child whether it's Christianity or Islam or Buddhism or whatever for others of you it will be your your constricting sense of atheism and nihilism and materialism your scientism it will be that or your rationalism for others of you it will be your closed mindedness to the idea that you could be God because you assume God must be separate from you for others it will be fear fear of being abandoned fear of people not liking you fear of not getting sex fear of not having enough money fear of not knowing how to survive in life fear of living in a bad part of the world where life is dangerous and difficult so all of these sort of fears and obstacles that you have projections and biases and defense mechanisms and ways that you're misusing your mind all of this these are just form resistance against waking up to yourself as god that's all they are including all of your health problems as well whatever they are mental health physical health it's all just resistance to you waking up as God really their wake-up calls see life is pinging you in a subtle manner with signals and signs all the time that you need to wake up that's what suffering is about but what do you do you ignore these signals because you want to keep going through life the way you've always gone through it and you hope that you can get the benefits of changing yourself without ever really changing yourself you see the problem here is that all of your problems in life come from you being who you are and you think you can outsmart life by maintaining who you are but just changing the outcomes and the results that you're getting so you think that right now if you're not getting enough money or enough sex or you're depressed or whatever problem you might have right now you think oh well what's the magic pill that I can just do what what what technique can I use to change that part of my life so that I'm no longer depressed or I'm no longer you know desperate for sex and no longer needy and I'm you know no longer struggling with money but the deeper thing you don't understand is that it's you who's the cause of all those the root causes you so for you to change those outcomes what really needs to happen is that you need to change your own self but that's the last thing you want to change is yourself you want me to give you techniques that you can get the results you want without you having to change yourself that's what you really want from me and this channel but that's not what I'm gonna give you what I'm gonna give you is I'm gonna give you a way to transcend and to to kill that part of yourself which is responsible for all the bad results that you get it's through the death of that part and through an expansion of your sense of identity of who you are that's what's really going to solve all of your problems and of course that's what you don't want because you're afraid of what will happen when that part of you dies that whiny bratty arrogant selfish child within you that wants it's life to go smoothly that wants to be happy and excited all the time that part of you needs to die and then honest corpse will stand the new you the larger you the stronger you the selfless you the true you as God who will be able to live a life in peace and happiness and joy and fulfillment and then you'll see that you could never have lived this kind of life through the old you and so that's the challenge with all of this work is that we're talking about changing you at very deep and fundamental levels but the problem is is you don't want to change because that inner child and you is terrified that it's going to die because it is if you keep going down this road but of course the secret is that it's death will not be the death of you it will actually be the flourishing of you the higher you you don't really want to change you don't want to change your lifestyle you don't want to change your worldview you don't want to change your mind you don't want to admit you've been wrong you don't want to open your mind to new perspectives and new possibilities you don't want to change your diet you don't want to change how you view the opposite sex you don't want to change your relationship to society you don't want to change how you interact with your family you're comfortable with all of these things as you've been doing them and you think that the way you are doing all these things is correct and good and maybe it is to a certain extent but it will only get you to where you currently are it won't get you any higher there's a limit to how high you can go being who you currently are if you insist on doing things fundamentally as you've always done them if you're going to only make changes on the periphery without really going to the core of changing your own self that's the really dangerous work then your improvements in life will also only be on the periphery it's gonna be window dressing it's not going to be a deep transformation of your life because at the core of it will still be that rotten arrogant bratty closed-minded ideological clingy self that inner child of yours will still be running the show and that's really what's creating your suffering and your deepest problems and keeping you from fully flourishing into your full potential as what you really are which is God imagine living the rest of your life from a place of consciousness that you are God the creator of all of life not a victim of it so that things are just happening to you but you truly take back your full authority and power that's what we're talking about here that's what you really want and everything else that you want whether it's sex a marriage children a car a big house a fast yacht or a lot of money all of that these are this is just this is tangential to getting your own self in order see the problem is that your own sense of self is out of whack and it's corrupted by falsehood by bias you're looking at all of reality in a biased way to try to serve yourself thinking that you have to do this and keep doing it otherwise you're going to die and so you keep playing this game you keep juggling these balls trying to maintain life trying to survive trying to play various social games and deep down it's eating away at your soul you see it's making you depressed it's making you anxious and fearful and sick causing physical sickness in you all these games that you play because fundamentally all of these games are a distraction and all of the ways in which you see the world they're false they're biased you think you need to keep looking at the world in this biased way because it serves you and you're afraid of what will happen otherwise but if you just let go and you pursue the truth eventually what will happen is that you will purify all the falsehood and biases out of you and then what will happen is you will become fully selfless infinitely selfless that's when you become God when you're infinitely selfless then you realize that you've been creating all of this that all of this is your own dream and then finally you can reconfigure your life to live in in alignment with the truth rather than falsehood you can look at reality in in a selfless unbiased way and then you can become a leader and a vehicle for truth and consciousness in the world and then you would finally be satisfied with yourself see you're never gonna be satisfied with having less than your full infinite selfless self as long as you don't realize that you're God you're never going to be satisfied in life never because deep down the truth is that you're God so anything less than that anything less than infinite anything less than absolute love anything less than absolute consciousness is not going to satisfy you it's going to be only temporary and that's what all of life is it's a process of God realizing itself and it's just a question of what are the different obstacles it's gonna go through there are so many different paths it's like tunnels it's almost like God is taking different tunnels different wormholes all of them ultimately leap back to the same place but these wormholes and tunnels can be very different you know they sink around and loop around like a maze and then go in all sort of twisted different directions and that's the trip that life is life is you know whichever wormhole you're currently going through huh so that's the only game in town there's no other game really here for you to play once you realize this so my question to you is are you willing to change yourself how much are you willing to change yourself are you willing to change yourself so much that it scares you as to how different you will be after the change that's what's necessary here that kind of seriousness because there are many scary changes that you're gonna have to make to really get your life to go the way you want you went into this whole process of self-improvement and spirituality thinking that you'll just make a few tweaks here and there and then you'll be good but then you're shocked to discover that the that the problem is way worse than you think it's a thousand times worse than you've ever thought there are so many deeper problems in you you start to discover so much rot and corruption in you your whole mind is like a cancer or like a rotted out tree stump that needs major reconstructive surgery to get back to its healthy condition but the beautiful thing is is that even though the work is a thousand times more challenging and more comprehensive than you ever imagined the fruit of completing the work is gonna be a million times more amazing than you ever imagined so you underestimated the workload but you even moreso underestimated what's actually possible because you came into this thing thinking like oh well if I just get a little bit more sex and a little bit more money and a little bit more happiness in my life and a little bit more health than a little bit nicer house I'll be good that's what you came in with you didn't expect that you would that you would get the entire universe in return you didn't respect that you would get God in return but that is what you will ultimately get if you go to the very end of this work and so I'll be here to help you to identify those obstacles get over those various obstacles in your own mind because that's all it is just various obstacles in your own mind it's what's preventing you from realizing that your God a lot of social conditioning a lot of bad stuff that your parents taught you that your school teachers taught you that your university taught you a lot of bad books you've read a lot of bad spiritual teachers you've listened to a lot of your own personal hang-ups and neuroses a lot of stuff from the past when you were abused or mistreated by people all the lack of love you received throughout your childhood in your teenage years all of the broken heart relationships you've had and all the times you were screwed over in business and with your finances all of this all the threats you receive in your life all the bullying you got all the illnesses that you suffer through all of that fundamentally that lack of love is what is what is creating the suffering in you and also creating a sense of of seeking because what you truly seek without knowing what you seek is you seek infinite love and you just seek it through very finite means like through food or through drugs or through sex or through a house or through a car or through a yacht or through a career but none of those will be enough to get you there you have to go at it directly to realize that you are infinite love and so that's what I'll be helping you with to realize that and then in the whole process of that is opening up your mind more and more and more and more breaking down the different walls breaking down your religious paradigms materialistic paradigms and so forth until one day you could have one of these radical astounding awakenings that I've been experiencing lately and that I want you to experience for your own self so there it is I got a lot of work to do I'm gonna get to work on myself I recommend you get to work on yourself and then we'll reconvene in a month's time or in two months time whatever it takes but definitely I will be back all right that's it for me here come check out my website on there you will find the life purpose course the book list the forum all of those my blog as well all those are still gonna be active well not so much my blog oh I won't be posting much on my blog in the next month or two but everything else will still be active if you want to buy a course or book list that will still be available to you the forum will still be active you can come and sign up if you want to support me on patreon you can at patreon.com slash actualised I appreciate your support because you know taking these months off is also not very good for business I don't earn that much money when I take time off so there's that and there's a giant catalogue of my videos for you to watch three four hundred videos at this point I got I get the feeling that most of you don't watch most of my videos there's there's a lot of deep content in there and you're gonna have to watch my my videos more than once to really get everything from them because they're extremely dense with wisdom and information so go rewatch some of those watch old ones you haven't watched yet take notes on them start to construct this stuff it's gonna take you a few years of just watching my content just to even get an idea of what the terrain looks like here so don't feel bad about doing that don't feel like you're wasting your time watching videos you're not if you're watching one of my videos it ain't like you're watching some other video on YouTube there's a big difference between my videos and all other videos on YouTube you're getting something very different here this is serious stuff that's why they're long that's why dents not all YouTube videos are made alike YouTube is just a platform it's easy to waste a lot of your time on YouTube but also you can find stuff on YouTube that will transform your life that's what you found here so keep mining this rich vein and and I'll come back and and supply you with some more juicy episodes pretty soon in the future so see you then you